Just sitting here on my bed, with my window open at the end of February.  It's fifty degrees today and will be all week.  What a nice way to start the almost springtime.  There's still snow on the ground, but it's mostly melted, and all will be melted by the end of the week.  But then it'll probably snow again next week, just as it did a few days ago, too.  The north is crazy with its weather.  But it always is.  

Yesterday, mother decided to get all hopped up on warmer weather and make a joke to my son that she wants me to buy her a dust pan to scoop dog poop into, because that's what she does outside.  I don't like it, our yard is hilly and is not meant for her to be walking around in.  But she's super rude about the chores she thinks I should be doing, compared to the chores that actually need to get done.  Like, I used to tell her not to clean my bathroom.  But one day I found her on the floor on her side, scrubbing my bathroom floor behind the toilet.  And she was using bleach cleaner, something I am very sensitive two.  I had no idea where she even got the cleaner, as I don't let her buy any.  So, I yelled at her and made her leave the room.  She was screaming the entire time that the floor was FILTHY (even though I just cleaned it) and it needed to be done.  Never mind she had diarrhea that week and got some on the wall in her bathroom and still hadn't cleaned it up.  That's how she is.  She looks at what everyone else should be doing in her mind, and she won't even give a second thought to what she actually needs to be doing.  

I took one evening last fall and cleaned all the fronts of the cabinets in the kitchen.  The next day she literally was mad that I did it when she was going to do it.  No "Wow, that looks nice!" or "thank you", just her being mad that I did something worthy, when she's the only person allowed to do something worthy.  Recently she was mad because she wanted thick scrubbies to clean all these things that didn't need cleaning, YET the fronts of the cabinets need to be cleaned again, as does the floor.  She ignores all the stuff that actually needs to be done, just for her imagined ideas of what's worthy to her in the moment.  Yet, I clean the mirrors every day, I clean the sinks, I clean the floors, the front of the fridge, etc.  But she will hone in on one thing that isn't done and act like I do nothing at all, and she does everything, even though she only cleans once a month, if even that.  

She, she wanted me to buy her a dust pan.  And she joked with my son that if I didn't buy her one, she'd use the kitchen one.  So I came out of my room and she said "Did you hear what I said to your son?"  I said "No."  So she proceeds to say in a super demanding and shitty voice "You WILL buy me a dust pan or so help me god, I will use the kitchen one!!"  I was taken aback.  I said "That's not a nice way to ask for something.  Wow.  And you will not use the kitchen one for dog shit."  She said "WELL!  I used to have one, but I don't know where it is."  I said "Your job is not to clean up MY dog's poop.  It will get done with the pooper scooper that I bought for that job."  She said "I can't use the pooper scooper!"  I said "Yes, well, you don't have to do it."  She said "It's not like YOU do it!  I couldn't even walk out there last summer!"  The thing is, I clean the dog poop up where she's allowed to walk, and leave it on purpose where it's too hilly or holey for her to walk.  Her physical therapist said she wasn't allowed to walk out there at all.  But she won't listen, so I make it safer for her by allowing her to walk where it's more flat.  But she's like a fucking cat who is not allowed to go into a certain room, and all she wants to do is go in that room.  So we do clean it up, just in very purposeful ways.  

So I took the dust pan in the kitchen and chucked it in the basement.  That's what I do when she threatens me.  I take away whatever she threatens me with.  About a year ago she told me "I'm going to sell all my norcos when I am done with them!!"  So I took them away from her.  Because I'm not having a drug dealing old bat live in my house.  She even told me that one time she sold some of her dead husband's leftover morphine to the neighbor, who OD'ed and died on the same kinds of meds later (not that much later--I really wonder if what my mother sold her killed her?).  I looked disgusted at her and said "Are you proud of helping her kill herself with drugs?  How fucking gross is that?  You should never tell anyone that ever again!  You should be ashamed of yourself!"  Sometimes my mother thinks she sounds like a bad ass, but in reality, she just sounds like an unfeeling sociopath.  Oh wait, that's what she is!  

So I was surprised by her mood change from cracking jokes with my son to threatening me, as though she has any power over me.  Too funny.  

When she cleans up dog poop, she puts it in my containers that I want.  Like, in my planters or other things I am using.  It's disgusting.  So she's not allowed to clean up dog poop anymore.  I wish she didn't clean our dishes, because I have to rewash them almost every single day.  But it gives her something to do.  So I let her.  At one point when we first moved in, I asked her to stop because the dishes were so horribly dirty, like she was putting them away without washing them.  But she started up again, as though we never asked her to stop.  And rather than fight her on it, I just let her do them.  But of course, she tells people "Nobody else in the house will do them so I have to!"  Which is so beyond irritating.  

Not to mention, she can't even go out and clean it up anyways, because of the snow and mud and mushy ground and hills in our backyard.  So why is she even on about this right now?  But that's how she is.  She gets a stupid idea in her head and she has to blurt it out, even if it doesn't make sense to do so.  

Now today, she's asking me for the dust pan.  "I need to sweep my room, and I know you don't want me using the dust pan, so we need to figure something out."  Sigh.  I never said she can't use it, I said she can't use it for dog poop.  She makes me want to pull all my hair out sometimes.  So I was going to go vacuum her room, but she did something herself and came by my room yelling "I don't need it anymore!"  Well, there ya go.  

And another thing she's been doing again is knocking on my fucking door and reminding me to make her dinner, every single freaking day.  Which is something she used to do.  So yesterday I said "I make dinner for your EVERY SINGLE DAY at the same time, you DO NOT need to remind me."  She said "Well, I can't eat and go striaght to bed!"  This isn't dementia, it's her being a bitch, because this is what she always does.  ONE FREAKING DAY I made dinner at 7 pm and since then she's been at my door reminding me to make her food ever since.  That's how she is.  You can do the right thing for years on end, then one day mess up, and she will act like you mess up every single day.  It's soooooo fucking annoying.  I do know there is a term for that, for this part of narcissism, where they can't use common sense when it comes to someone making a single mistake and then acting like they always make that mistake.  But I can't find it.  It was one of those things I read online and didn't save it and now I have no idea if I'll ever find it again.  Ugh.  Anyways, I am going to go back to frozen meals for her because I can't tolerate this annoyance again.  And that will fix it, as it will take me only seconds to get her dinner together.

But rather than concentrate on her stupid behavior (even though I am in this moment), I've been cleaning, and writing, and creating my stuff for my Etsy shop.  I want to predominately make time for my own life, and not always be worrying about her and what she's going to do next.  Because, who cares?  She's always going to act up, because she's a jerky little girl in old lady's saggy skin who throws fits for no reason.  That's who she is, and who she always will be.  And I don't have to spend worrying about her bullshit.  I do enough for her as is.  She can't suck up the time I have when I am not around her, too.  

So, I'm going to go finish cleaning my room, and work more on my Etsy shop products, and most likely wash all our laundry (mine and Mr. Brooks').  But we'll see.  Oh, and make Mrs. Potato Head her dinner.  Because god forbid, if I am not in the kitchen at 4:30 pm, she'll be at my door again.  Sigh.  

Okay, I have an hour, time to get my own stuff done.