So, my mother was putting away the dishes for me every morning after I washed them the night before.  But, for the past few days, she's not done it.  Which is totally fine, because I don't expect her to do anything at all.  But today, she walks into the room as I'm putting away dishes and cleaning out the sink and she says all in her excited voice, as she rocked back and forth on her feet, rubbing her hands together "So, are you sick of it yet?  Are you ready for me to take my old job back?"  The way she was acting, I knew it was on purpose.  It was a tactic to get me to let her wash dishes again.  She was playing games with me and from the looks of her, fully expected to win.  

And it rightly pissed me off.  I looked at her and said "You act like I can't do things, mom.  You act like I can't wash my own dishes.  Just so you know I've been washing dishes my entire adult life before moving in here with you."  She replied in her condescending tone "Well, honey, I've been doing dishes a LOT longer than you."  I snapped around to look at her and said "Well, you could have fooled me."  She said "HUH?"  

For her to act surprised just made me want to scream.  I've told her before she's bad at washing dishes.  Not just that, she puts them away without washing them at all.  Not all the dishes, but she'll literally take a utensil covered in peanut butter and not even scrub in the least and put in the drawer.  I know it's her dementia, but I've had it.  She lets the dogs and cats lick all her plates and bowls and she doesn't wash them.  And that's just too gross for me.  But mainly, she took the dishwashing scrubbies out of the garbage and put them up to use them again.  I didn't mention that to her.  But I did mention the nasty dishes being put away, which I've brought up to her before and she said  "And?"  I was like um...and that's gross.  

Then she saw me taking out the garbage and said "Do you want me to take that out for you?"  And then added "Or will I mess that up, too?"  So she wasn't actually offering.  She was just being shitty.  I said "No, because it's too heavy for you."  She said "Well, YOU can't take it out, you've got no shoes on!"  Oh god, her obsession with bare feet.  I just sneered at her and said "Oh god, you and your issues with bare feet!  Just leave it alone!"  And she kept talking and I just took the garbage out.  

So yeah, she tried to play a game she just couldn't win with me today.  Because I don't give a crap if the sink is full of dishes.  Only she does.  She thinks that she can get to me by doing something I could care less about LOL  I mean, I figured that.  But I don't like assuming everything has to do with me.  But I know my mother.  And I know her games and tricks.  

It really bothered me, though, when she said that to me, because she always has said to others in earshot of me "If I don't do the dishes nobody else will!" or "Oh yeah, I loved being in rehab, because I got a break from having to do all those dishes!"  Or when her BFF Christmas made a comment "Well, if you're not there, who will clean the house?"  She replied "Shay will."  Christmas asked "Shay??  What do you mean Shay?  You said she doesn't do anything!"  Because that's who my mother is: a horribly unsupportive person who will throw her daughter under the bus any chance she gets, just because she's bored or feeling bad about herself.  And she'd still be that person if she had the ability to be.  

So, I don't feel bad for telling her she's a shitty dishwasher.  And I am sure we'll have this conversation a hundred times more before we're through.  But for now, at least she knows the truth.  She didn't choose to quit, I fired her.  Not that I wanted her to know that.  But I'm not one to play her games anymore.