UGH.  Not again.  My neighbor called and caught me by surprise and asked me to be on "backup" for watching her dog in July, as she's heading out of town with her husband and her friend is going to watch her dog, but when she's at work, she'd like me as a backup.  I figured it would be like 1-2 times, so I said yes.  BUT THEN she hit me with "You'll have to change his diapers."  

Are.  You.  Fucking.  Kidding.  Me?

I should have said "Oh wait, I forgot I was busy."  But I didn't and soon hung up.  And she texted me to today, on the Fourth of July, to come over and learn how to change his diapers.  I didn't answer.  But then I did and said "Oh, I didn't know it was this weekend.  I wasn't sure when you were leaving but I will have family in town from Thursday to Monday.  I am sorry."  And she didn't write back.  But then she called me.  I did not answer, because wtf?  Just say "okay" and move on.  Good grief.  I don't want to watch her dog again.  EVER.  Now that I have to change his diapers.  No way Chipotle.  Gross!  I will give her husband back their remote for their garage door and I will be done.  I tried to give it back last time and she said no.  Now I know why.  It was to keep me in line to be her servant.  She knows she can take advantage of my niceness, but I HAVE to find a way to give them back their remote and be done with it.  Will I end up having to have it out with her to get her to leave me alone?  If so, I want to say "Wow.  I tried so hard to be nice here.  I tried so hard to avoid getting into an argument with you, but I swear, you're pushing me on purpose to make me yell at you so you get to be the victim.  But you need to hire a dogsitter and stop taking advantage of your neighbors because it's not fair.  Or maybe you should just take care of your dog yourself, like the rest of us do?"  She's not a "dog owner", she's a person who owns a dog.  She wants the freedom to do whatever she likes, as though she doesn't have pets.  So why have a pet???  It makes no sense.  

I still don't get why she called me, because I was not watching her dog, I was her friend's backup.  Oh well.  I never got a backup when I'd watch him for 3+ days at a time.  I had to do it all myself.  AND she knows if and when you show up, as she has things in her house that go off and ping her phone.  It's creepy!  

Here's the other bullshit: if I am out back and she needs me, she will bother me while I am relaxing to do her bidding.  If I am in my garage, hanging out or cleaning with my hubby and she needs me, she will come into the garage.  If I am in my yard, same.  All the same.  I, ONCE AGAIN, am being held hostage in my own home due to a pushy ass neighbor.  I feel I keep repeating mistakes so I learn how to deal with them.  So, I should put her remote in an envelope and write a note saying "Here's your remote back, I am sorry that I cannot help you out with Percy anymore as I am too busy."  No need for a single more of an explanation as she doesn't give two shits that I say nice things about her dog.  She's SSSSOOOOOOOOO freaking self-centered and selfish that all she cares about is if you can do anything for her at all.  If I didn't like my phone number so much, I'd change my number on her, too.  She doesn't even ask how your day is or how your life is going, it's all about her 24/7.  I need to be done with this.  I need to not have one more blog post about this.  I cannot and WILL NOT change her dog's diapers.  I have my own pets to deal with.  I have had THREE DOGS DIE THIS YEAR and she hasn't even noticed.  And she lives next door!!!!  WTF???  She doesn't care to know anything about anyone if it doesn't have anything to do with her.  I am so tired of being treated as though I am the extension of an narcissist's reach.  I am not a fucking object.  I need to stop letting people treat me like one.  

I almost wish she'd say something shitty to me.  I would love to unleash on her.  But then again, the older I get, the more I realize that burning bridges isn't always a good thing.  Esp. not when the idiot lives next door from you.  

Last night, my dog got into some stinging nettle and was poisoned and was swelling up and barfing all night.  I have my own shit to deal with.  I don't need her shit, too.  UGGGGGGHHHH. 

UPDATE: She called me (like I said), I did not answer, she hasn't spoken to me since.  And I hope never again. But I know I am not that lucky.  So, the next time she calls?  I will not answer.  No more asking me in person. I can say no by text easier.