Her:  "Knock knock!"

Me:  "Who's there?"

Her:  "Janice." 

Me:  "Huh?  What?  Oh god.  No.  Go away!"

So I opened my Facebook to see two messages.  I knew one was my friend in Sweden.  She's really great and we message each other daily.  I've known her for many years.  She's the only friend I kept out of the period in my life where I ran an online women's group.  It imploded, as all groups usually, do, and I did keep a few friends from there, but eventually I realized they were annoying (and narcissistic) and my Swedish friend was the only one who was normal.  

But who was the other one from?  

Oh god.  It's her.  My ex-mother-in-law.  I swear, it's been ten years, at least, since she's had anything to actually do with my kids and it's been around three since she's last talked to them.  

My "boys" are 26 and 22.  They are adults.  I don't know why this crazy bitch is contacting me about seeing them.  And she does NOT wat to see me LOL, not with everything I have to say to her.  And I certainly do not want to see her.  

Here's the funny part about this message (it's all funny, but we'll start with this part): what kind of cell phone does anyone on earth have these days where someone doesn't answer?  Um...there's this thing called "voicemail" that exists on every single cell phone everywhere and there's no way to call a number and get absolutely no pickup.  What kind of idiot does she think we are?  She pulled the same shit around ten years ago when I found out she was working a quarter mile from our house, within walking distance and she never once stopped by to see her grandchildren.  And I've had the same phone number since 2018 (or possibly earlier), so y'all didn't lose my number.  Her daughter certainly has my number, as does her oldest son (my ex).  And we haven't heard from either her or her daughter (they were living together for a long time) in over 3 years, since we saw them at Kohl's (right after Covid hit).  Funny, my ex-SIL always said to me back in the day "Even if you divorce my brother, I will never ever let you take my Beefcake from me!" (meaning my oldest son).  But then she turned into her mother and now she has nothing to do with either of my kids.  

They're both narcissistic alcoholics anyways, so we're fine with that.  But DO NOT put the blame on me saying nobody is picking up the phone.  Bullshit.  And she's been trying to call for THREE years and no answer all that time?? LOL Huh?  She's on Facebook for fuck's sake!!!  So are my kids!  And she never once messaged either one of them to say "Hey, do I have the right number for you guys??"  But she sure can get on Facebook and harass my ex-husband and his family.  

She's only messaging me since her daughter moved out of their apartment and in with her boyfriend and all their kids, and her son doesn't speak to her anymore and now she's lonely.  "Oh, I am a bitter old woman who's all alone and now I will reach out to the grandchildren I like to pretend I don't have (her first two grandkids) and see if they can give me the attention I need and feel I deserve!"  Think again, bitch.

You know that this sloth-faced old hag got breast cancer and was in treatment and never once told my kids about it??  They had to hear it as an offhand comment from someone else in the family.  I hate her.  I hate her and and the syphilis-ridden horse she rode in on and I hope she finds some kind of asshole to go marry and leaves everyone else alone.   

Let's get some perspective here, shall we?  Let me paint you a picture of how this bitch works.  

First of all, she decided the moment I found out I was pregnant, that the baby wasn't her son's.  Apparently, I had "trapped" him in a pregnancy relationship and was using him for his health insurance.  Um, okay, even though I already had my own health insurance.  But the FIRST thing my ex and I decided when I found out?  We were NOT going to get married just because I was pregnant.  But then his father and my mother both straight up told us (in their exact words) "We will NOT accept this baby, nor will we help either of you, unless you get married."  My parents wanted me out of their house and I guess his parents wanted....I honestly don't know what.  To not come to them for money?  I have no idea.  So, we were both forced to get married.  So, tell me again how I was the one "trapping" him?  Sounds like they all trapped us.  

Secondly, the moment my son came out, he looked just like his father.  And his mother NEVER once apologized to me for treating me the way she did or saying that I was some kind of manipulative man trapper.  

Thirdly, my ex-MIL is/was a RAGING alcoholic who once picked up my baby son while completely wasted and tried to walk around their house while holding him.  She also talked shit about me behind my back the entire time she's known me (and still does).  

Then, she treated me like garbage for years and years and years and bitched that I never took the kids over to see her.  But then her son and I got divorced and he had half custody of them and the kids were always at her house for a few days out of the week.  Well, well, well.  We sure called her her bluff.  Because the moment the kids would show up, she'd leave the house for the whole weekend.  Turns out, she didn't want to see them as much as she complained she did.  Just like my own mother.  

I could go on and on and on about her, but honestly, this blog post is already too much of a waste of my time talking about her so far.  Let's just say, I am blocking on her social media and my oldest son told me he wants to tell her off.  Even her own children hate her.  Which is why she's coming to me.  I am her last resort.  Too bad I took myself off the guest list to that shit show a long time ago.  

Nobody treats my children like garbage and keeps me in their life.  Which is one reason why I only talk to my own mother when I have to.  And she lives in my house.  I sure as hell am not going to invite this pile of trash back into my life for no good reason.  She can go eat a fat one and leave us the hell alone.  

Off to go block her now.  Sayonara Cunty McCunterson!  And good riddance!