When my mom smokes the Mary Jane, she turns into a zombie.  Like, a total braindead zombie.  She can't even comprehend normal sentences.  So, my son has tried to get her high a couple times, even though I don't want him to, but since my mom is a badass, she wants to go behind my back and do things she's not supposed to.  She doesn't know but I kind of don't give a fuck.  

It's not like I want her to be high regularly.  And it's not like I don't know when its happening, as my son tells me beforehand.  But out of the three times he's tried, none of the times has she gotten high.  See, he only gives her a tiny little hit off of his vapes and she will pretend they affected her.  But ONLY when she's alone.  "Oh, I so totally felt it when I was in my room, oh my god!"  Not you didn't, but good try there badass.  The hits she's taking are sooooooooo tiny, that they wouldn't affect a baby, much less a plus-sized adult.  But she loves to be a badass, so she will pretend like she's feelin' it. 

Of course she never acts high whenever he's given it to her and she functions perfectly normal.  But sure, whatever, ma. *eyeroll*  Pretend all you like.  I've seen my mother high a few times when I was a kid, like actually high, and like I said, she turns into a total zombie.  

Now she's gonna brag to her friend Christmas that my son lets her get high.  Which is silly, but she can tell her friends whatever she likes.  She's not been high on weed once since I was in sixth grade.  But sure.  Brag to your friend what a bad ass you are LOL 

Well, at least she's not being a bitch anymore to me.  So that's something, right?  Let her have her fantasies.  At least she's not making my life a living hell anymore.  And that's all I can ask for.  

I just thought this was quite funny, so I wanted to share it.  I need a nap now as I feel like balls because my POTS keeps acting up and I keep getting headaches and sleep attacks.  Ugh.