So mother is sick.  And I am angry.  We took her temperature, and it was normal yesterday.  We'll see today.  We have some rapid covid tests we got free from the government, so if she spikes even a small temperature, she'll be getting a test (which my son will give her, as he has his booster).  

I am hoping it's just allergies.  It came on super-fast, so most likely, but we'll see.  If it's a cold, I am still going to be super fucking mad because I know exactly where she got it.  

The other day she conned my son into taking her to the gas station, and my son came home extremely mad and said she wouldn't put hand sanitizer on after leaving the store and refused to wash her hands when she got home.  And my mother LOVES to touch her fucking face.  And this, boys and girls, is why I don't take her to the store.  She also refuses to wear her mask properly.  They recently lifted the mask mandate in our state, and when I took her to Hobby Lobby she said "We don't have to wear masks!" when I told her to put it on.  I said "Either put it on or we go home."  So she did.  But she has an obsession with doing the most careless things she can think of.  Growing up, she never even shut our back door.  EVER.  So I'd be home alone, sleeping in the middle of the night when she'd take my dad to work, with our back door wide open, nothing locked.  She also never locked her door in the apartment she lived in before we moved here and she'd go take a nap during the day.  Also, in that same apartment, there was a developmentally disabled kid that would come over and visit her, and he was violent and pushed her up against her counters with her kitchen table (he used to table to push her) and I told him he's never allowed back over again.  She told her BFF Christmas that she was going to find him and tell him it was fine if he still visited.  Even though I threatened the cops on him.  There is something so inherently wrong with my mother's brain and judgment, which is why she lives with us and I am in charge instead of her.  And now she's putting my household and risk by doing things to get herself sick.  

So yesterday I changed the garbage out and told her "If you take the bag out of the can, please do not leave it on the floor because the dogs get into it."  She just stared at me, which is her tactic to make me nervous, so I did what I always do and started babbling.  I ended it with "Well, the dogs were getting into it the other day and I had to pull a pork chop bone out of one of their mouths."  She replied "Oh, I bet they liked it."  I got very mad and said "No, she almost choked."  She can't even say "Oh, that makes sense, I'll put it in the garage next time."  Or anything similar.  She has to pretend like she did nothing wrong.  So I've learned to not ask her anymore not to do something, because I always have to repeat myself and say "Did you hear me?  Because you didn't say you won't do this anymore."  And she will get angry and say in a childish voice "Yes, I won't do it!"  As though I have no reason to repeat myself.  She acts like a defiant child.  One day I'm going to ask her if she treated her parents the way she treats me.  Then I will add "Well, it must have been a bitch to raise you if this if you acted like this.  I feel sorry for Meemaw and Peepaw".  She may not find that funny, but I will.  

So she went outside to smoke and I went into her room and did a search.  I have to search her stuff every few weeks (sometimes once a week if she's being particularly bad) because she takes things that aren't her and puts them in her drawers.  And she also makes secret plans to do stupid things and writes her plans down and hides them.  So I search her room regularly to find any of these plans or our items and I take them.  This time I found mail she somehow got ahold of and was hiding, one being an American Express application.  Sigh.  She has an obsession with shopping and with applying for credit.  It's an addiction, I know, but I took the application and two other pieces of mail she was hiding (how she got it really irks me, because she's not allowed to get the mail and apparently she has--I am not even angry, I know it's my fault for not being on top of getting the mail every single day, which I will be from now on).  And I found her list of things she wanted from Family Dollar (she's been bugging me to go, even though I just took her to Hobby Lobby--she literally asked the next day).  She's not allowed to go to places like that.  Hobby Lobby was one place I realized was kind of okay for her.  But the plant stores, and resale shops are the only other places she can go.  Everywhere else is off limits due to her shopping addiction and candy addiction.  

So I found her list, and the kids and I went to Family Dollar and bought her everything on that list ($100 later, ugh!), minus the shit she's not allowed to buy, like "cleaner with bleach" and "candy" and "disinfectant wipes".  She has a total OBSESSION with disinfecting.  Which is fine, to a point.  But I have chemical sensitivities and there is ZERO bleach in this house, as well as Windex, which has ammonia and I am super sensitive to it.  The only bleach I have is for laundry, and I only use that sparingly.  And of course, on her list were all those things.  And when she buys candy, she buys literally $60 worth of candy at a time--FOR HERSELF.  Which she will eat in a week.  Did I mention she has diabetes????  

She tried to tell me "Oh, if I could go back in time, I'd have given Peepaw his shots (meaning shots of hard liquor) that he loved so much.  I stopped when his Alzheimer's got so bad, but I feel bad to this day taking it away from him".  She was saying that I would feel bad taking candy away from her diabetic ass one day, which I will not.  And that I should give her what she wants now because one day she'll be dead and who cares if she gobbles up bags and bags of chocolate when she was alive?  I said "So, you feel bad not giving Peepaw, a severe alcoholic his vice, even though he was taking meds that specifically said he can't drink alcohol?  Well, that's dumb, and I am so glad you're not taking care of him now because that's horribly irresponsible."  She did that with my uncle.  His endocrinologist told her to stop giving him grapes, as his type 1 diabetes wasn't under control anymore, so her defiant ass ran out and got him tons of grapes and gave them to him.  She never should have been in charge of his care.  Ever.  But his shitty kids didn't want to do it, so she had to.  I tried to tell them SHE has dementia, too, so why is a demented person in charge of another demented person??  But nobody would listen.  Well, he's dead now.  And she's in my care now.  For now.  Until she goes into a home and gives them her defiant shitty attitude instead.  

So now she doesn't have to go to Family Dollar and if she asks again, I will say "/Hey, I bought you everything on your list."  Yes, she will know I took her list, but I want her to know.  She will also know I took her freaking credit card application (she still owes around $4,000 on her old one that I am still paying off), and I want her to know that, too.  I want her to know that she can't get away with being sneaky, and she mostly never has (other than her sneaking out recently and going for walks alone without me knowing about it until last week).  But most likely she took the application from the mailbox and forgot she even took it and hid it in her room, so she won't even realize I have it.  She'll probably think she misplaced it.  

So, instead of telling her what to do, over and over and over again, because she doesn't listen, I put up reminders all over.  "Keep back door locked".  "Keep outside light turned on at all times."  "Put draft snake back in front of door."  "No smoking through this door (out front)."  "Don't push the sides of the garbage bag into the garbage."  That last one really irks me, as I will go throw something messy away from cooking and SPLAT!  It will all fall right out because some dumbass (my mother) will take the sides of the bag and push it into the can....why???  That defeats the purpose of having garbage bag!  And it gets the sides of the bag and the can all gross!  So her friend will come over and read all my notes and wonder aloud why there are so many notes.  Because if I don't put them up, she will run around and undo everything I do in the house or she will keep doing her stupid things.  

And I get soooooo sick and tired of reminding her over and over and over again and her copping an attitude with me.  And it's not her dementia, it's her obstinance.  She doesn't like me telling her what to do.  Well, now the notes tell her what to do.  So there.  

And I just tell her friend "It's her dementia.  She can't remember things." 

And, per her shitty attitude, if I just put notes up, she'll rip them down and say they fell.  So I have to reinforce them with shipping tape, which is too hard for her hands to remove.

So that's about it.  I need to eat something and go have my son take her temperature.  I'll come back and write if she has a fever or not.  Sigh.  

UPDATE: She wasn't sick at all.  She had allergies.  She was sniffing and sneezing and coughing for two days.  And then just like that, it was all gone.  So yeah, after taking her temp AND a covid-19 test, she was fine.  We all were still pretty angry with her for her behavior that day she had my son take her to the gas station.  So we got it into her brain just how careless it was.  It won't probably stick, but for a moment she listened.  But still, I don't like taking her places because she's SO careless.  Ugh.