Let's back up for a moment before we unpack that one.  I have a new therapist and she's amazing!  She's literally helping me deal with these issues but in a new way, a way no therapist EVER has before.  She concentrates one ME and how I deal with these issues.  Her eye-opening thing she said to me was "What if he never changes?  How will YOUR life look then?"  So, she's helping me build boundaries and push my son to take care of himself, instead of letting him dictate my life to me (which he does).  

His new therapist thinks he has PTSD from trauma.  She's not keen on diagnosing him with borderline yet, which sucks, because he definitely has it and was diagnosed before from his last therapist.  There are things I get that he does have trauma from, but nothing that would make him this way.  She doesn't get it.  My son is terribly abusive to me (and my husband and my youngest son, though to a lesser extent), even when he's not dysregulated.  And he can become dysregulated at the drop of a hat.  Whether it's PTSD or BPD, why does it matter if the symptoms are the same?  Can she not treat him for these symptoms either way with DBT?  That's why he's there in the first place.  But no, she wants to work on his trauma only.  Which will not help the situation we're in.  

She doesn't get it....my son will be moving to a new home within a year or less if he can't get the help he needs because there is NO way he can stay with his if his behavior doesn't get better.  

And now my son has stopped seeing her, because she 100% wants to treat him for PTSD and not BPD.  And now she wants to talk to me about him stopping seeing her and I do not want to talk to her and I will calmly explain to her if I run into her that I am not comfortable talking to her without my son there as she's not my therapist.  I only wanted to talk to her when were all together, not explain to her why my son stopped seeing her, as that's HIS job, not mine.  He's 28, not 8.  And if he doesn't want to explain to her about this, then I cannot make him and she doesn't need to have a conversation with anyone about it.  And she called me twice to talk to me, which annoys me, because I don't want to talk to her.  

Here's another weird thing: she eats all the time, like constantly.  During sessions.  She claims she gets low blood sugar and that's why, but I get low blood sugar and eating French fries and the such is NOT how you keep your blood sugar up.  That's just disruptive and weird.  

Also, I have this ability to read someone immediately, if they're shitty.  Usually I am not wrong.  Though I am sometimes wrong about nice people, but shitty people are usually pretty easy to spot.  Not always, but never have I ever met someone I thought was shitty to begin with turn out to be nice.  Not a single time.  And this therapist, I could feel she was shitty right off the bat.  

In order to be diagnosed with PTSD you need something to meet criterion A.  And my son doesn't meet any single part of that.  CPTSD is different, but my son also doesn't meet the criteria for that, either.  He's had trauma, yes, but it wasn't prolonged and his behavior started LONG before he experienced any trauma.  Why don't they do ACE scores instead?  I guess that they can't bill insurance for that.  But I find it fucked up to bill insurance for something your patient doesn't have, just to fit a narrative that you've already built in your mind.  And to refuse to listen to your client. 

Client: "I have BPD symptoms and my last therapist diagnosed me with BPD."

You: "Well, the symptoms of PTSD can mimic BPD.  So let's go with PTSD and treat your trauma first and then if the symptoms don't go away, we can think about BPD."  

Client: "What trauma?  I mean, I have a little trauma, but not enough to fit a PTSD diagnosis.  I fit way more into a BPD diagnosis." 

You: "Well, let's just go with PTSD." 

Client: "I also have anxious depression."

You: "I just put all of that into PTSD."  

Client: "I also have anxiety disorders, which comes from my ASD." 

You: "That all falls under PTSD." 

Client: *thinks* No it doesn't, it falls under ASD.  Which I have. *starts to wonder if she'll ever listen*

I hate when a therapist BARELY knows you and already has you all worked out in their minds.  I once had a therapist tell me the first day she met me "I can tell you're a perfectionist".  I laughed in her face and said "If you knew you me, you wouldn't say that.  My son is a perfectionist, I am the exact opposite of that."  She replied "Oh, I can tell you're one."  I stopped smiling and asked "Can you though?"  I didn't go back.  Not because she told me something I didn't want to hear, because who on earth is a perfectionist and doesn't know they're one already?  It's not a shameful thing to admit.  I didn't go back because she thought she had me all figured out already and would operate from this idea that I am a "perfectionist" and let that shade everything she thought about me, and that would affect the way she gave me therapy.  No part of me is a perfectionist...I am soooooooooooooooooooo type B that I call myself a "type C" which means chaos LMAO  I am a half-asser and someone who's life motto is "good enough is good enough for me!"  I do have OCD though.  

The issue is: my son was diagnosed with borderline and went to their office (the same office as my therapist) to get help with his borderline, and then she tried to tell him he had PTSD instead.  Why?  If that happened to me I would be so pissed.  I have GAD, panic disorder, social anxiety, CPTSD (due to childhood abuse), OCD, and agoraphobia.  I KNOW these things about me and if a therapist came along and said "No, you just have PTSD".  Well, I do have CPTSD.  I've had PTSD about certain things, yes.  And I still do about certain things, sure.  But my generalized anxiety disorder and OCD have nothing to do with do with those traumas.  If they do, they still are GAD and OCD on their own, as I may have developed them from trauma itself, but that doesn't mean I only have PTSD.  See how that works?  I can have trauma and develop things from that trauma, but that doesn't mean I have PTSD every time I have anxiety LOL  I KNOW what PTSD anxiety feels like, and they are in certain situations that trigger my PTSD.  That's the whole idea of what PTSD is.  You can't just lump everything into PTSD, that's not how that works.  

This girl is infuriating.  She's younger than my son and has this attitude of being a know-it-all  (that was my first impression of her).  My therapist is not a know-it-all, she's kind and nice, but also smart AF and challenges me when she needs to (I don't always like it, as I don't always feel she's right, but eventually I'll feel safe enough with her to bring those things up).  So it's not like I am going around thinking all therapists are know-it-alls LOL  She hadn't even brought up the whole PTSD thing yet when I met her, so I didn't even go into the situation having an opinion about her at all.  

So, now we're on the search for a local place that takes medical card that treats borderline (so many don't!  Which irks me, since it's a very common thing to have....).  

I just feel like in this country you have to fight to have your mental help taken care of.  And if you're really mentally ill and need real help, there are VERY limited resources for you out there.  And I don't mean there's few therapists, no, I mean there's few good ones.  

I am in talks with someone to get my son help, so I hope this one works out and actually helps him.